Total Pageviews

Friday, September 30, 2005

Let me hide

Do not look at me;
I am not worthy.
Let me hide away
In the darkness,
Where I am safe.

This shrunken, shriveled world,
Holds me snug in its embrace
Do not force me to break free.

Here there is no risk,
No dare or challenge,
Here no knocking knees,
No hostile judging eyes
Fixed harsh upon me.

Here in the shadows,
I die little deaths
Of pedestrian paralysis,
Fearing the larger death,
Of living in the Light.

Do not look at me;
I am not worthy.
Let me hide away
In this darkness,
Where I am safe.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Falling in love with life

October 2004

On my drive back from my son’s school this morning, I was listening to some beautiful classical music from Bach when I was so overwhelmed with a deep and blessed sense of gratitude, that I found myself repeating the words “thank you”, over and over again , out loud to the universe as I drove. I don’t know if I have the words to describe how almost agonisingly sweet that moment was and how close to tears I became just bathing in wave after wave of intense emotion. I am so thankful for this renewed passion for life, for the sensory acuity that has me literally buzzing with energy , for the opening out of my soul, ready to receive the magnificent blessings of life. This is not the quiet still space that I normally inhabit ; this is a deep earth connection , very physical in its nature, shaking me to the core of my being………….. And I love it.

I love this feeling of my whole body fully alive, every nerve cell tingling with anticipation of action, movement , sensory pleasure. I want to make love with life, to feel it closing in on me, touching deep to my soul, awakening a response in all of me, that moves to continuous climaxes of joyful pleasure. I want the universe to make the most passionate love with me, to take me and bring me to the edge of all that is. Then I will step forward and trust that the promised bridge appears or I will simply spread those hidden wings and fly.

A few days later , still on fire with this incredible sensory energy, I wrote this poem:

Falling in love with life
Bubbling up from deep within,
Mystically magnetised by some internal power
Come sweetly, strangely disturbing feelings
So akin to falling in love.
Spiralling down deep,
Deep into the depths of me
Where who I think I am disappears
Into a universe of infinite potential
Can this be love?
I hear wild notes played on unknown instruments
I see the world through tender softly focused lenses
Yet there is a primitive savagery in all my senses
Feelings rise, primeval, unfiltered by the mind.