Shadowlands

This was written following the deaths of both my parents within four weeks of one another about 18 months ago. I have what is designated as terminal cancer and at the time of their deaths it looked as though I would soon follow them and prior to their deaths, that in all likelihood I would precede them. I am grateful that they did not have to endure watching their child slip away into the shadows. It was hard enough for them to watch me suffering and fear my death.

Yet here I remain, stronger than I have ever been in the last six years of this roller coaster ride of cancer. Go figure. I still walk in the shadows but there is now more light than for a very long time.

Alone upon the empty shore,
The tide has taken you
But never from my soul,
But never from my heart.

I walk the shadowlands,
Between the light and dark,
Where you have lead
I may now follow.
Help me to be strong.

My beloved mother would have been 86 on the 26th April. I visited her and my father's grave on Saturday to mark it and to celebrate the gift her life was and continues to be to me.  I am so sad. I sang her happy birthday and remembered her love, her beauty of soul. The grief has softened but lingers like a shadow. I love you, my precious one. xxx

I stood by your grave today

And said goodbye again

Yet still I felt you in my heart

In every trace of memory.

And I am glad that you are gone

Suffering and pain at and end.

We could not lift it from you 

It was never in our gift. 

In your life you gave us all 

A mother to the very end

The dearest heart, the kindest soul

Love like that can never die.

I stood by your grave today,

And could not find the tears

You are lost to me in body

But your spirit haunts me still.